I’m Considering a Divorce – Now What?

divorce consideration questionsDivorce is a difficult word, yet for you and your situation, there seems to be no avoiding it.

You don’t want to hurt anyone, yet you are hurting without any relief in sight.

Must it get ugly?  Will it need to cost a fortune? How will it work and what is involved?

Considering Divorce

You aren’t alone!  These are anxieties that are suffered by both spouses in every divorce.  Folks just like you have been faced with and have overcome those fears – and you can as well!

So, where should you start?

Fear isn’t a friend when you must make critical decisions! Fear’s antidote is information!

Sound decisions begin with good information, and experts are the place you should start.

There are many different processes you could use to finalize your divorce. Some take place in the courtroom and others take place thru mediation and collaboration.

It’s hard to know which path to take, isn’t it?

Let’s break it down into smaller steps:

Speak to Professionals first:

To start with, speak with a collaborative attorney or a counselor or any of the professionals at LACFLA about whether divorce is the solution for you.

Whether you should divorce is a very personal choice.  It isn’t one that may be made for you – you must make it yourself.   However, you do not need to make it alone; get a professional’s outside point of view.

It is also useful to know the various processes and what to expect.

One process to consider is the collaborative divorce process. This process’s primary goal is to arrive at an agreement that is mutually agreeable to both spouses while staying out of court and preserving the family unit as much as possible.

Often courtroom divorce cases cause so much hostility and bitterness that it is nearly impossible to co-parent or mutually agree on post-divorce decisions and, worse yet, your family unit is left in tatters on the courtroom floor.  A judge will make decisions for you and your family without even knowing you.

The collaborative divorce process utilizes a collaborative team approach which includes attorneys and may include mental health professionals which can include a divorce coach or child specialist, as well as a jointly retained financial specialist, all who work together as problem-solvers to assist you and your spouse/partner in reaching a fair and confidential agreement that allows your family unit to remain in tact which benefits everyone far into the future.

Speaking to Family and Friends About Divorce

Family and friends may be a significant source of support.  They also can be a source of fear and anxiety.

Everybody has their own war story or knows somebody else with one.  Somebody else’s war stories aren’t about you or the divorce.

Knowing somebody else went through a divorce may be a source of comfort.  But, the drama of somebody else’s divorce doesn’t need to be your drama.

Family and friends, like the internet, may be an overwhelming source.  It may be hard to distinguish useful information from drama.

With collaborative divorce, our experts can help you sort through the noise. It is kind and supportive of both parents and children and allows them to move through a transition that is already difficult enough, without triggering destructive battling. Mental health experts (called “coaches”) will help in developing a parenting plan and help you to learn how to deal productively with the other parent for the sake of your children.

It’s hard to know which way to turn and what information is true.

With a team of experts working with your family, you can diminish your anxiety and stress because you will know that when your divorce is finalized, each party involved, including your children, will be ready to face the future with confidence.

Call us today if you would like to learn more about how our members at the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association can help you and your family!

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