If you’ve been thinking about a divorce but are fearful of the future, finances, being alone and/or concerned about your children, there are considerations to make. Are you in a challenging relationship and are afraid to get out? Or now that you’re staying at home together because of COVID-19, do you and your partner fight all of the time?
If you are considering a divorce, don’t jump to litigation without finding out more about collaborative divorce. There may be a way for you to divorce peacefully and respectfully, while allowing your family to say intact.
But first, let’s address some fears and answer a few questions you may have.
Fear of Future
Nobody knows what will occur in the future; therefore, do not become paralyzed by uncertainty. In becoming proactive, it’s possible to overcome that fear of uncertainty and exercise control over your life. On a collaborative divorce team, there can be divorce coach who would be able to help you work through those feelings.
Fear of Being Poor
Everyone has concerns about having enough money after divorce. The answer is to review the income and property you will have after the divorce with one of our financial experts. They can help you create a budget based upon that information. They can help you determine how to pay bills and how to plan for your retirement. Once you have a clear idea of what is coming in and going out after your divorce, it goes a long way to helping you overcome your fears.
Part of a collaborative divorce team may be a financial neutral who will be able to analyze finances and explain and answer any questions that either client may have.
Fear of Being Alone
Worries about being alone after divorcing is caused by a fear of abandonment. As a youngster, we had a caretaker keeping us secure and feeling safe. It is reasonable to be dependent upon somebody else as a child; however, adults must take care of themselves. You can learn to take responsibility for your own happiness, instead of being dependent on other people. This is where a divorce coach can help.
Fear for Your Kids
Divorce can be stressful for children. But, the majority recover and are okay in one or two years. As a matter of fact, kids in high conflict family units are better off after a divorce, because their parents are not fighting all of the time. Most children are adaptable and are going to survive the divorce. To minimize issues, avoid fighting with your partner in front of the kids, keep a loving relationship with them, and help them understand their feelings about your divorce.
In addition to a possible divorce coach, you may add a child specialist on your Collaborative Divorce team. This will help your children work though their feelings about the divorce and also help you and your spouse prepare for any questions and give suggestions about working with their children to move past the divorce in a healthy way.
For more information on our collaborative family law services in Los Angeles, CA, please feel free to get in touch with Los Angeles Family Law Collaborative Association today at 818-933-4505.