When you face a custody battle, anger, fear, and strong emotions take over. When you are ruled by those negative emotions, it is too easy to act irrationally, and jeopardize the very thing you are trying to protect — your relationship with your kids.
When divorcing through Collaborative Practice, custody and all other agreements are worked through with the couple and their team: attorneys, a child specialist and/or divorce coach and possibly a financial neutral. The couple makes the decisions which results in a more peaceful and respectful divorce.
When litigating a divorce, custody battles can become severe, and there are several mistakes people make in the middle of a custody battle.
Violating the custody order
If you have been dealt the short straw within a temporary order, your first reaction might be to grab the children and leave town.
Legally, you will considerably weaken your position; the courts will probably see you as unreliable and emotionally unstable and thereby not a good candidate for sole custody.
This alone ought to be enough of a deterrent, yet consider how your kids will feel. At first, they might feel as if they are on some type of thrilling vacation yet the thrill will dissipate, to be replaced by worry and confusion about when they will see the other parent, their school, their friends, etc.
If you are going through a collaborative divorce, this would not happen as both spouses would be working toward a satisfactory custody agreement for both parents.
A litigated divorce can be an ugly time which may bring out the worst in anybody: bitterness, impatience, and anger are all too common. One big mistake to make though, includes becoming confrontational whether that is with the legal experts dealing with your case, your spouse, or your children.
All uncontrolled display of anger might be used against you if you are litigating your divorce, because creating a calm, stable environment for your kids will always will be the main priority for the ones in charge of ruling on the case. When litigating, a Judge will decide on the custody arrangement.
When utilizing a collaborative team to complete your divorce, these feelings can be addressed with a divorce coach who can get to the bottom of those feelings, help with alleviating those feelings, and allow you to proceed with the divorce in a more calm, rational state.
Relaxing parenting rules
Your kids are hurting and it is natural that you want to do everything you can to make their lives more fun and easier.
But this is actually the time to show that you are a loving, responsible parent, who is able to set appropriate boundaries and rules, and offer a positive role model for your kids.
Working with a child specialist in a collaborative divorce will help both your children deal with their parents’ divorce as well as help you and your spouse keep a good parental relationship with your children.
For more information on the Collaborative Divorce process, please feel free to get in touch with Los Angeles Collaborative Law Association in Los Angeles, CA at 818-933-4505.